What is God’s phone number, and does he reverse the charges on long distant calls?
Author: admin // Category: reverse charge calls
Every time I call I get voice mail
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
October 13th, 2010 at 2:32 am
I’m pretty sure it’s 867-5309
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 2:48 am
1-777-777-1212
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 3:38 am
He only answers knee-mail…so, you won’t be able to get ahold of him through a phone. But if you speak, He’ll hear you, and listen to you. There’s no such thing as long distance with God. (:
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 4:11 am
God doesn’t have a phone number honey.
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 4:30 am
Actually he prefers kneemail
http://www.Jesus.calm
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 5:05 am
You can reach Him though His Son Jesus Christ
1 800 John 14:6
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 5:48 am
666-666-666
Oh no wait that’s Satans number..
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 6:20 am
1-800-Bull-Sh!t
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 7:10 am
I’d imagine he’s not listed, guy as popular as God, bound to get prank-calls….
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 7:15 am
Heaven is long distance. You need to pray.
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 7:42 am
We have FREE Long distance access to The Father via Jesus Christ learn more some free bible lessons http://www.vop.com God bless have A fantastic Forever.
References :
The Holy Bible
October 13th, 2010 at 8:24 am
his number is 555-5555 its kinda hard but memorize he’s so live!
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 9:03 am
Every time I call I get voice mail
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 9:25 am
We have alot of telephone numbers up here 100 to be exact so make sure you call the right number which is1-800-100-love.
Hears a blessing and a our father prayed just for you.Practice the holy rosary,practice makes perfect.we love you all,the holy family.
References :
Jesus Christ
October 13th, 2010 at 9:51 am
***Hey, Clayton, that’s Jenny, not God! ;)***
I don’t think God has a phone number; He speaks directly to the people He wants to. And, being God, he doesn’t have to go through AT&T, so no charges!!
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 10:19 am
try collect
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 10:56 am
It’s a 1-900 number.
References :
October 13th, 2010 at 11:28 am
A phone? Not even a super-computer can handle the number of people who are talking to Him every second and He does not put you on hold. You don’t have to be on your knees, as some people are saying, to talk with Him. You just have to "Believe!" That’s all it cost. A price that many refuse to pay!
References :